


you deserve to be saved

by esmethenightdemon



Series: destiel one shots [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel Feels (Supernatural), Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Episode AU: s15e18 Despair, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Episode: s15e18 Despair - Castiel's Confession Scene, First Kiss, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Jack Kline as God, M/M, One Shot, POV Castiel (Supernatural), References to Canon, Sad Castiel (Supernatural), Season/Series 15, Short One Shot, i think dean is ooc to lmaoooo canon just murdered me huh, i think he might be a little ooc but oof i need this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29041581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmethenightdemon/pseuds/esmethenightdemon
Summary: the thousandth fix it for 15.18 and 15.20 where dean saves castiel.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: destiel one shots [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1744231
Comments: 1
Kudos: 47





	you deserve to be saved

castiel knew the empty was enjoying this. 

it wasn't just memories he was forced to relive, the empty was making him see things that never happened. 

_dean is on the ground, castiel with his angel blade above him_ , i need you, _dean then telling him that he never needed castiel, dean sending him away again, castiel swallowing all of purgatory_ -

the empty was still wearing meg's face, it was its favorite to wear around castiel. sometimes though, it pulled dean from castiel's memories just to hurt him more. it worked. 

idly he wondered what meg's real name was. he never really did find out, he just got her killed, like he did with so many others. 

_dean bearing the mark of cain stabbing castiel like he said he would the second time around, castiel making a deal with crowley, castiel kneeling over jack's corpse, castiel still being possessed by the devil_ -

time moved differently in the empty. castiel wasn't sure if it had been an hour or two hundred years since the empty claimed him. all he knew was memories, real and fake, and the empty's laugh in meg's voice that never sounded right. she didn't sound like that when she took care of him in the hospital. 

dean's laugh was even worse though. it wasn't the warm laugh of dean hearing a bad joke or seeing castiel do something dumb. it was reminiscent of something he would have done when he was a demon, but worse still, and castiel hated it. he just wanted to get back to dean, to see him one more time. 

he didn't regret sacrificing himself for dean, not even a little, but this was tearing him apart. 

_dean burning castiel's body with no emotion, castiel being forced to leave dean in purgatory, castiel killing samandriel, castiel killing thousands of deans_ -

castiel wasn't sure if dean loved him back. he knew there was an intense longing from dean from him, but he was never able to distinguish if it was platonic or not.

the empty didn't always torture him though. sometimes it just let him lay on the darkness, peer out into the nothing, let the void just soak into him and envelop him. he almost preferred the torture to that hellscape. 

_castiel helping metatron, dean never praying for him after he betrayed him to crowley, castiel staying dead as a human because dean didn't care enough to bring him back, dean tossing him away, he can't castiel needs dean too_ \- 

castiel cried sometimes. whenever he did, the empty mocked him in dean's voice. he was an angel, he shouldn't do this, he was a soldier. 

in truth he knew he was a poor example of an angel and hadn't been a true angel of heaven in years but it still felt wrong. 

and now, thinking about this, he felt the tears cropping up again, and he braced for the empty's grating voice. instead he heard a loud bang, and the sound of swearing in dean's voice. 

"son of a bitch! okay, you're here for a reason. cas!" 

castiel did not turn towards the sound of his voice. this had to be a new trick. he wasn't going to be saved. 

"cas! where are y- oh shit. cas!" the voice was closer now. cas closed his eyes and braced for it to go all wrong. 

instead he felt gentle hands pulling him up and cradling his face. his eyes were still closed, but he could feel himself partially in the lap of.....someone. it couldn't be dean. no. 

"cas, talk to me buddy, c'mon." 

"go away," castiel said, refusing to look at whatever was there. 

"what, no, you're coming with me." 

"just give it up. i know you aren't dean." 

"yes, i am dean, cas, look at me." a pause. "please sunshine, lemme see those eyes." 

a warm feeling spread through his chest and castiel opened his eyes, even though he was unsure. dean was leaning over him, and he was crying. dean's hand was still on his face, and now he was gently stroking castiel's cheek. he smiled, and something twisted inside him. this felt too real. 

"you're cruel," castiel said bluntly, and the smile disappeared from dean's face. the warm feeling in his chest dissipated. he wasn't getting saved, he knew it. he didn't deserve it. 

"what do you mean, cas. it's me, i'm not the empty. i'm here to get you."

"no," castiel whispered. "this is just another trick." 

"cas. castiel." that startled him. the empty never used his full name when pretending to be dean. "it's me. i. i needed you back. you just said all that and then left and i couldn't handle it, i was going to do something bad. i tried to get chuck to bring you back but he wouldn't. but he's out of the way now. jack's god and he's brought me here so i can bring you back," dean said. 

dean stopped, and wiped the tears from his face. 

"i love you too. you always had me. come home to me." 

castiel gazed up at dean with a look of complete wonder. "dean," he said. dean grinned. "yeah sweetheart, it's me." 

feebly, castiel grasped the front of dean's shirt and pulled him down. dean made a small sound as castiel kissed him with more force than he originally intended. dean didn't seem to mind though. his hand stayed on castiel's cheek and he wrapped his other arm around castiel's body. it was the sweetest thing castiel ever tasted and he was drowning in it.

dean stopped kissing him, and castiel almost panicked, but then dean kissed his cheeks and forehead and nose. 

"okay let's get out of here," dean whispered against the crook of castiel's neck. castiel nodded and let dean help him up. the empty had yet to come. castiel assumed jack (who as god, that only just registered) had something to do with it. 

"okay jack, you can bring us back!" dean called out. with a second loud bang, dean and cas tumbled in the bunker. 

they were home.

**Author's Note:**

> i know i've been gone for ages but i'm back baybee, did ya miss me.
> 
> also i once again have issues with past and present tense. and i know the ending sucked. please don't shoot me, i'm but a humble dumbfuck.


End file.
